Good Morning Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our expository review and balanced assessment of the state of journalism today.
I teach journalism at Lib-U and will be your moderator today. Please be aware that I will maintain the highest level of journalistic integrity and fairness in our discussions.
With that said, our first panelist, from MSNBC, will expound on the pointed topic of nasty partisanship illustrated by the Republican House, where they constantly rant about that ridiculous Constitution, a relic document that is completely out of date and immaterial compared to our commanding knowledge of what the people of the world need today.
The next panelist, from our beloved Washington Post, the pinnacle of high integrity and inclusive editorial, will immerse us in a comprehensive exposition on manmade global warming, created by the conservatives in the United States and the evil corporations owned by conservatives.
His key point, a fascinating topic worthy of a complete seminar on its own, is the examination of conservatives’ conflicted charge against virtually every scientist on the planet and how they just don’t get it — I mean, if they can’t see the obvious, well, they can move.
We then will be treated to a Twitter vote on how great Obamacare will be, once the small imperfections are fixed. We all know that mandating the purchase of expensive insurance on everyone is for the good of the masses, but our Twitter pole should confirm that. Fun huh? So modern, so progressive. Gosh we’re good.
Finally, in the all fairness, we invited the Wall Street Journal editorial staff to attend, but they said they were too busy — probably writing nonsense regarding “leading from in front,” ha!
We didn’t bother inviting Fox News — heck who would want to listen to that biased diatribe? Well, they know who their audience is; it sure isn’t us, a balanced, well-connected and progressive majority that knows what is best. In fact, we know what’s best for everyone. That concludes our fair review of events. Enjoy the show.