Simone Appetit | Beware the Stupor Bowl |

Simone Appetit | Beware the Stupor Bowl

President Obama has still not declared the Monday following Super Bowl a national holiday, so eat and drink responsibly, beginning with the Hoagie Bowl.
Courtesy Simone Grandmain |

We’ve all been there done that – had too much to eat and/or drink on Super Bowl Sunday, so much so that once we may have even missed the end of the game due to a food or liquor coma.

And the supermarkets aren’t exactly helping to encourage responsible living room tailgating on game day. The end of every aisle is packed with frozen finger foods stuffed with every kind of fat and carbohydrate imaginable.

I swear I even saw some stuffed green beans the other day which, given the small hands that must have accomplished that feat, has got to be the direct result of a broken child labor law.

The only low-caloric stuffing item I have come across is a pizza with a commemorative T-shirt baked right in the crust, which I guess would fall into the high-fiber category.

This year I am going easy, even easier than last year when I just moved my whole Super Bowl party to Costco and ate free samples and watched their flat screens from floor model recliners.

Easy on the budget, easy on the eye (chicken wings can be unattractive on the consumer, please Google picture of Toronto’s disgraced mayor Rob Ford) and easy on the tummy.

I am stuffing, but this time the final product is consumed in small, tasty, palm-sized sandwiches. This recipe is practically tea party food, expect I am not trimming the crust, there is no watercress in sight, and I will not be offering up any black Pekoe. Hello, it’s the Super Bowl!

Some traditions are not made to be broken. So you can keep your keg and sip daintily while you enjoy mini hoagies from a manly-sized bread bowl.

Quick tip: If you are not sipping daintily and eventually insist on using the hoagie bowl as a ball during a game of touch football make sure it is empty. Go ________s! (You fill in the blank.)

Hoagie Bowl


1/2 jar sliced pickled pepperoncini peppers

1/2 head iceberg lettuce

1 large tomato, halved and seeded

1/2 red onion, halved and sliced

1/4 pound deli-sliced Genoa salami

1/4 pound deli-sliced ham

1/2 pound deli-sliced roast turkey

1/4 pound deli-sliced Swiss cheese

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 tbls. olive oil

1 tbls. red wine vinegar or Sriracha sauce, depending on spice preference

1 tsp. dried oregano

1 1/2 tsp. dried basil

1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes

One 10-to-12-inch round loaf Artisan brand bread bowl, or any soft round bread

About one dozen mini dinner dinner, preferably King’s Hawaiian Sweet Bread.


Chop the onion, pepperoncini, lettuce and tomato into bite-size pieces. Dice the meats and cheese. Combine the chopped vegetables, meats and cheese in a large bowl.

Add the mayonnaise, olive oil, oregano, basil and red pepper flakes, vinegar or Sriracha, and stir until everything is all mixed up and tasty.

Refrigerate until ready to serve. Carve out the center of the bread loaf to make a bowl (don’t cut through the bottom) and cut the bread scraps into bite-size pieces.

Serve the hoagie dip in the bread bowl, with the extra bread and Hawaiian Sweet bread rolls to scoop it up.

Simone Grandmain is an internationally published travel and food writer who currently calls Truckee-Tahoe home. She welcomes your recipes, kitchen “must-haves” and food news at

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