Upon being asked to run for congress from Nevada’s 2nd District, I thought I’d test the waters by writing a white paper, floating it in this fine family journal, then standing back and watching it sink.

To begin, when you are in politics, you are in a wasp’s nest with a short shirt tail, as the saying is, and too, as Charles de Gaulle told us, “Politics is much too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.”

I don’t vote for politicians myself; it only encourages them. Well, look at it, look how difficult it is to find a politician today with morals high enough that he will “stay” bought!

---

---

We’ve got a health policy dictated by drug companies, an energy policy dictated by oil companies, and a tax policy dictated by oligarchs.

Thanks to a breakdown in education, prostitutes in Nevada are now as common as millionaires in congress.

---

---

Why are there more black men in prison today than there are in college? Our education system has failed them, that’s why, and Nevada resides in education’s dark cellar.

Officially, I am a Pope Francis Capitalist and an Everett Dirksen Democrat, which is to say, “I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.”

I intend to hang out my laundry so nobody can dig it up and call it a scoop. I did attend Cal Berkeley but only for a biology class, and though I did volunteer to be the urine specimen and was accepted, they did not name the lab after me as previously attested.

As a person, I obey the law, pay my taxes, give blood, wash behind my ears and help little old ladies cross the street. (Once, on my way home from the Alibi Brewery, they were actually able to return the favor.)

I expect my campaign to resemble a pregnancy, nine months of discomfort, emotional outbursts and nausea, and I present a portion of my platform here…

Motto: Calling on Common Folks to do Uncommon Things

Pledge: Work on advancing education from 9-noon, then take up less pressing issues after lunch. For starters, the person who wires your child’s brain should be paid as much as the person who wires your house. We must protect the next generation from becoming so immersed in virtual reality that they forget their manners and social skills.

Foreign Policy: Taking sides today in Syria is like taking sides in a prison riot. We need to stay out of that snake pit until one side emerges, then engage with diplomacy if possible, military force if necessary. Meanwhile, let Putin have his turn in the morass. Eventually, we are all going to be fighting the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or “ISIS.”

Seventy is the perfect age to get involved in politics. You are kinder at 70 than you were at fifty, and you really don’t care what people say about you, so politicking cannot harden you and ruin your life, or even your day. To be an effective congressman you cannot be conflict averse, but you do need to be kind.

I see we are running out of room, so I leave you with this thought from Mark Twain, “Diligently train your ideals upward toward a summit where you will find your chiefest pleasure in conduct, which while contenting you, will be sure to confer benefits upon your neighbor and the community.”

Learn more about McAvoy Layne at http://www.ghostoftwain.com.