Grasshopper Soup: Black Eyed Peas lost in space | SierraSun.com

Grasshopper Soup: Black Eyed Peas lost in space

Bob Sweigert
Special to the Sun

TRUCKEE/TAHOE, Calif. and#8212; Global warming, or climate change, or whatever the experts (people who are no longer pert) call it now, saved Super Bowl XLV. Ice and snow could be found all the way down to the U.S./Mexico border. But, a day or two before the kickoff, the weather warmed up, confusing the Steelers, which cost them the game. That can be scientifically proven by Madam Backhurtz, at her palm reading palace on west Fourth Street in Reno. She, of all people, is an expert, and still very pert for an old seer who knows everything.

Who needs experts? We mere common folk know perfectly well why Dallas froze the week before the big game. The Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers brought the Super Freeze with them so they would feel more at home. But it backfired.

The brutal freeze last week, from the deep south all the way up to Canada, is best understood by billions of years of climate change beyond the scope of human understanding. That is, of course, unless the experts and scientists have explored the entire universe, traveled through every black hole, and have witnessed, studied and understood all cosmic phenomena beyond human observation, and are, therefore, impossible to explain, except by ex-perts.

Donand#8217;t feel bad. That last paragraph was a challenge for me too. Feel free to go back. I did, several times.

There are true experts who humbly, and somewhat reluctantly, admit that everything they know is hard to know, even for them. When they find someone who has been around as long as planet Earth they will interview him, or it, and pass that information along to us in a way that we mere mortals can understand.

Now, I am told there is a hole in the ozone layer over New Zealand, which could be caused by human activity, if there is human activity in New Zealand. I know they hang out at the beach after selling kiwis.

Maybe the hole in the ozone layer is from snow mobile exhaust in California and Nevada, and made larger by volcanic eruptions. Or, maybe my source passed out in the kiwi sun and got so burned he had to make up the story about the hole to save face. I donand#8217;t know. Iand#8217;ve never been to New Zealand, nor can I explain cosmic, or psychological, anomalies.

There was, however, a black hole in the middle of the Super Bowl definitely caused by human activity. It was the halftime show. A sound problem jinxed the production.

But the problem was more than technical. The concept of the show had no universal appeal. Visually, there was no unifying theme between the Black Eyed Peas and the dancers. And the lyrics were too philosophical, even for me although, at some level, I get it when all someone can say is, and#8220;Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Wooo, Wooo, Wooo Woooand#8221;.

The audience loved it, or they applauded just to be nice. But and#8220;The Whoand#8221; last year, and Prince the year before that, showed us how a Super Bowl Show should be done.

I watched the show with my nephew, his girlfriend and some of their friends, all of whom are in their early twenties. I thought they liked that kind of entertainment, but they didnand#8217;t. They said it made that type of music look bad. They also joked that Al-Jazeera TV could generate more hate for the and#8220;Great Satanand#8221; by broadcasting the whole materialistic, plastic, shallow spectacle to Middle East audiences. I was impressed with their sense of humor.

The show concept, if the costumes and that dumb thing on the lead singerand#8217;s head meant anything, was that humans, and squirmy little fiber optic worms, are all the same.

I may have to travel through a worm hole in deep space to find out for sure.

Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, former college instructor and ski instructor. He has a B.A. and an M.A.T. from Gonzaga University. He has lived at Lake Tahoe for 28 years.