Grasshopper Soup: flirting with politics | SierraSun.com
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Grasshopper Soup: flirting with politics

Bob SweigertSpecial to the Sun

TAHOE/TRUCKEE, Calif. andamp;#8212; andamp;#8220;Hey honey, itandamp;#8217;s a beautiful day. Wanna do something fun? Letandamp;#8217;s boogie on down to the state capitol and scream and yell in the faces of people we disagree with.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;A day of rage would be lovely dear. After church. We can bring the kids. It will be a good lesson for them. It will help boost their self esteem and improve their social skills, so they arenandamp;#8217;t afraid to be more demanding than they already are. Itandamp;#8217;s important that they learn to get what they want, no matter what. And if they donandamp;#8217;t get it weandamp;#8217;ll tell them that everybody who wants something different is really, really bad, and stupid. Itandamp;#8217;ll be fun, and good for community awareness. Iandamp;#8217;ll make sandwiches.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Youandamp;#8217;re the best, honey buns. What would I do without you? I love you so much.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;I love you too baby. Youandamp;#8217;re a real man. What are the protests about this time?andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Money and power, and who shouts louder; who lives in the biggest bubble, whose lollipop is getting smaller. Everybodyandamp;#8217;s right and everybodyandamp;#8217;s wrong. We can reverse that. Look. Hereandamp;#8217;s a copy of the protest schedule.andamp;#8221; andamp;#8220;Thank you honey. Wow! Itandamp;#8217;s as thick as the phone book. What a great line-up. Good teachers against bad teachers at Carnegie Hall, with a performance by Social Distortion. Oh, look, paid, professional protesters against rookies at the Hollywood Bowl. Whoever can reinforce stereotypes best is the winner. It promises to be a very tough competition. This one sounds good, old traditionalists against rebellious teens, with music by andamp;#8220;Me First and the Gimee Gimmes.andamp;#8221; And a foot race between the Tea Party and Michael Moore in Havana, Cuba. Michael Moore gets a head start. That should be fun. And hereandamp;#8217;s a bunch more. Muslims who want to be like Americans against Muslims who hate Muslims who want to be like Americans. There are dozens listed. Serious action guaranteed. One is at the Roman Coliseum and includes a wild animal show.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Letandamp;#8217;s stay home and do Americans versus Americans. Itandamp;#8217;s a separate schedule, even thicker. I like this one. The Satanic Devils versus Hitlerandamp;#8217;s Nazis, hosted by the AFL-CIO and SEIU at ATandamp;T park in San Francisco. Eminem and Ted Nugent will be playing.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Awesome! Whose side are we on? What shall our signs say? Satan is cute, Hitler was just kidding, the governor has cooties, or, Uncle Sam is a clown, whaddaya think?andamp;#8220;Relax honey. No. Not negative enough. Uncle Sam hates you sounds better.andamp;#8220;Right! The more negative the better. Was Hitler a good guy or a bad guy, I forget?andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;It doesnandamp;#8217;t matter. Heandamp;#8217;s dead. I think. Iandamp;#8217;ll get the marker pens and poster boardandamp;#8221;.andamp;#8220;Weandamp;#8217;ll demonize Republicans and Democrats. They arenandamp;#8217;t human. What about school budget cuts for sports, music and the arts? Do we really need those programs? Strong, happy, creative and intelligent citizens arenandamp;#8217;t that important, are they?andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Good question baby! Who knows? Donandamp;#8217;t get too philosophical on me now. Hey, hereandamp;#8217;s a great idea for a sign. I will compromise when all my enemies are dead!andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Honey, you are absolutely brilliant.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;I know sweetheart. Thatandamp;#8217;s why you married me, isnandamp;#8217;t it? I canandamp;#8217;t wait to see you get angry in public. You look so beautiful when you do, like part of the system. I get goose bumps when youandamp;#8217;re mad. Letandamp;#8217;s go take our country back!andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Donandamp;#8217;t you just love the democratic process honey?andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;As much as I love you baby. My favorite part is, even if we win every vote we can still fight against everyone who disagrees with us. Itandamp;#8217;s the only way to live.andamp;#8221;andamp;#8220;Iandamp;#8217;m with you hon. Fight, fight, fight! Itandamp;#8217;s a wonderful life.andamp;#8221;Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, former college instructor and ski instructor. He has a B.A. and an M.A.T. from Gonzaga University. He has lived at Lake Tahoe for 28 years.


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