Grasshopper Soup: Perfect square circles do exist |

Grasshopper Soup: Perfect square circles do exist

Bob Sweigert
Special to the Bonanza

TAHOE/TRUCKEE and#8212; Greetings from, and welcome to, the Great Blue Circle, where every day is a new miracle, or we could use a miracle. Unlike the rest of the world (and parts of ours), the Great Blue Circle we live in is peaceful, or, to put it the other way, is not at war.

But people do awful things to each other here too. But there are also many good people around here who could teach everyone else in the world a lesson or two about life.

People often tell me, and#8220;Hey, Bob, Iand#8217;ve got a great idea for a column.and#8217;

Before they can get in another word, the first thing I say whenever I hear that is, and#8220;Good! You write it.and#8221; Then I try diplomacy and pretend I am interested.

They usually tell me a story about an injustice or a problem I have no solution for. I donand#8217;t understand the world at all, so I figure it must be perfect already. A defective world like myself I can understand.

But a few things come to mind for my perfect world; another couple months of warm days, a Fanny Bridge renovation, and seeing the old Fanny Bridge enshrined in 64 acres, with colored lights for night viewing and easy-access pedestrian and bicycle crossings under the new bridge. And, one last thing, an end to all the negative things in our circle that I list below. But it would be easier to make a perfect square circle.

If we are to believe any of the news we seem to be getting from the outside world, our circle is the best place to be. Fortunately, Tahoe doesnand#8217;t quite look, smell and act like most other places on the planet, not always anyway, and not to such a violent extent. But even here, high on the Big Blue Pill, we can find dishonesty, political deception, white collar crime, economic inequality, rationed health care, over-regulation, under-regulation, favoritism, nepotism, double standards, and#8220;back-stabbing.and#8221; The list goes on.

But nothing on that list can disturb the Great Blue Circle. It might pop and need a little patching up every now and then, but the circle never ends.

Speaking of stories, I know I said I was going to write one about short-term memory loss a few weeks ago. And I start to, every week, but I keep forgetting everything I am about to say, which may be one of the best things that can happen to this column. So I just do what the government does when it runs out of ideas. It just keeps throwing more money at the problem and calling everyone who disagrees with it a bunch of evil trolls.

I have been called a lot of things in my brief and humble writing career, and I would love to share them all with you over some wine, beers or margaritas. It would be fun. We would laugh our heads off until we didnand#8217;t make sense anymore.

Call me whatever you want, but please donand#8217;t taze me bro, and donand#8217;t water board me.

But I will tell you the best thing I ever heard about me and my Grasshopper Soup. I canand#8217;t remember who it was, or exactly where we were, but it was a young man maybe in his 30s. He was with a friend and they both appeared in the Great Blue Circle and disappeared as quickly as they came, but, as they faded out, one of them recognized me, laughed and said something about me being the guy who talked to the whole world.

At first I thought he was saying I was crazy because who, in their right mind, would think they had something to say to the whole world? A dubious honor indeed. But then I thought about it awhile. Every powerful and famous person in the world thinks they know what the world needs to hear. Iand#8217;m just a commoner, so I take it as a compliment. When I find myself thinking itand#8217;s crazy to talk to the whole world, I just remind myself that the world could always use a good talking to.

Have a perfect autumnal equinox.

Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, former college instructor and ski instructor. He has a B.A. and an M.A.T. from Gonzaga University. He has lived at Lake Tahoe for 28 years.

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