Jim Porter: The Twelve Days Of Lawyers | SierraSun.com

Jim Porter: The Twelve Days Of Lawyers

Jim Porter
Special to the Sun

On the first day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

A contract for a fat fee

——–

On the second day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

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——–

On the third day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the fourth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the fifth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the sixth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the seventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the eighth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Eight cases calling

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the ninth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Nine justices dancing

Eight cases calling

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the tenth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Ten lawyers leaping (we won)

Nine justices dancing

Eight cases calling

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the eleventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Eleven parties paying

Ten lawyers leaping

Nine justices dancing

Eight cases calling

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the twelfth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me

Twelve more bills a coming

Eleven parties paying

Ten lawyers leaping

Nine justices dancing

Eight cases calling

Seven civil actions

Six geezers lying

Five golden writs

Four billable hours

Three legal opinions

Two stipulations

And a contract for a fat fee

——–

On the last day of Christmas my lawyer thankfully

had a wife who wrote poetry

——–

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter Simon, with offices in Truckee, South Lake Tahoe and Reno. He is a mediator and was the Governor’s appointee to the Fair Political Practices Commission and McPherson Commission, both involving election law and the Political Reform Act. He may be reached at porter@portersimon.com or at the firm’s website http://www.portersimon.com.