Jim Porter: The Twelve Days Of Lawyers
Special to the Sun
On the first day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
A contract for a fat fee
——–
On the second day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the third day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the fourth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the fifth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the sixth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the seventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the eighth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Eight cases calling
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the ninth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Nine justices dancing
Eight cases calling
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the tenth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Ten lawyers leaping (we won)
Nine justices dancing
Eight cases calling
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the eleventh day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Eleven parties paying
Ten lawyers leaping
Nine justices dancing
Eight cases calling
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the twelfth day of Christmas my lawyer gave to me
Twelve more bills a coming
Eleven parties paying
Ten lawyers leaping
Nine justices dancing
Eight cases calling
Seven civil actions
Six geezers lying
Five golden writs
Four billable hours
Three legal opinions
Two stipulations
And a contract for a fat fee
——–
On the last day of Christmas my lawyer thankfully
had a wife who wrote poetry
——–
A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter Simon, with offices in Truckee, South Lake Tahoe and Reno. He is a mediator and was the Governor’s appointee to the Fair Political Practices Commission and McPherson Commission, both involving election law and the Political Reform Act. He may be reached at porter@portersimon.com or at the firm’s website http://www.portersimon.com.
