A girl and her dog
February 9, 2018
Olivia is 16 years old and talks to her dog, a Border Collie she named "Guess" in case anybody asked.
"We're going to save the world, you & me." Guess wags his tail and Olivia tosses him a bone.
"I don't believe nuclear weapons generate a fear strong enough to prevent us from using them, do you?"
Guess wags his tail and gets another bone. (These are small milk-bones.)
"Nuclear deterrence is an oxymoron. Lummoxes don't give a farthing if they blow themselves up along with the rest of the world, so why fool ourselves into believing nuclear weapons are essential for safeguarding world stability. One false missile alert and we could have ourselves an ice age to eliminate all of us Homo sapiens and most of you canines."
Guess does not wag his tail.
Recommended Stories For You
"But guess what? I have uncovered a way to deactivate detonators on nuclear weapons without their proprietors knowing it. Nuclear detonators require very precise timing, throw off that timing and 'pfft-fizzle-pop-nada.'"
Guess wags his tail and gets a bone.
"Here's how it works. Nuclear detonators are activated by a high-voltage, high-current, low-impedance electric pulse, that, thanks in large part to Nikola Tesla, can be defused by a charged particle beam concealed within a magnetic field, guided by GPS links, and it can do this without anybody knowing it but you and me."
Guess wags his tail and gets a treat.
"North Korea's Kim Jong-un will not likely conduct another nuclear test until after the impending Olympic Games in South Korea. But should he conduct a test following the Games, well, what he will get is a big goose egg, because as of tomorrow morning all detonators on North Korean nuclear devices will be disabled."
Perhaps due to the tone of Olivia's voice as much as the information provided, Guess wags his tail and gets rewarded.
"Should Mr. Kim come up with another way to detonate a nuclear device we can deactivate that too … game over. This is classified information so it goes no further than you & me. Loose lips sink ships."
Guess shakes himself, indicating a need for a walk, and once outside has time to talk to himself.
"She sure is a smart girl. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't eventually become a veterinarian someday. I'm sure she would make me a Therapy Team Pet Partner for the hospital. She has a good heart and thinks with her heart along with her head. A good head is no good without a good heart to guide it, and she has both. Whoa! Here comes that cute Cocker Spaniel, 'Hey Cookie, nice lashes! What's your name?'"
"Daisy, what's yours?"
"Nope … Guess."
We'll draw a curtain of charity over the rest of the conversation and leave it here.
Learn more about McAvoy Layne at http://www.ghostoftwain.com.
Trending In: Opinion
- Interstate 80 traffic backed up for miles because of snowstorm, road conditions
- California tax law woes mean Northern Nevada luxury spending is on the rise
- Truckee Planning Commission to review Grocery Outlet modification plan
- Update: Chain restrictions have been lifted for vehicles on I-80; trucks must carry chains
- Update: Chains required on I-80 from Nyack Road to the Nevada state line; westbound vehicles being turned at Donner Lake Interchange, Truckee due to spinouts