Educator to speek on parenting
November 6, 2002
Acclaimed author and educator Sandy Queen wants parents to quit trying to be perfect.
“You can’t be a perfect parent, there’s no such thing,” Queen said. “You just have to be good enough. Perfection gets us into a whole guilt trip … with judging what’s right and what’s wrong. Perfection just isn’t human.”
Queen, who has lectured to audiences worldwide, will speak on the art of positive parenting from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., Thursday, Nov. 14 at Truckee Elementary Auditorium. Admission is free and complimentary childcare is available at the KidZone in Truckee.
The event is sponsored by the Tahoe Forest Hospital District and Tahoe Truckee Unified School District.
The Columbia, Md.-based lecturer recalled going to the hospital to have her first child armed with Dr. Spock’s Baby and Childcare guidebook.
“I remember the nurse coming in and saying ‘child, throw away that book – your baby didn’t read that book,'” Queen said. “My point is we can’t base how we parent on a model, cause our kids won’t fit that model.”
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A mother and grandmother, Queen often uses a humorous approach to the challenges of parenting. “It’s a serious topic to be looked at lightly,” she added.
Queen’s lecture will look at not only the stages of child growth and development, but also the stages of parental development.
“We don’t stop developing at 21,” Queen said. “Growth and development is a continual process.”
Life can become tumultuous, Queen explained, when both parent and child are going through development spurts. This often happens with teenage kids and 40-something parents.
“Both of them are asking ‘who am I?'” Queen said.
Queen’s lecture will also touch upon the importance of parent self-confidence in child-rearing.
“We must feel worthy before we can help our children feel that way,” she said. “How can we help a child to be something we are not?”
Queen said too often parents fall into patterns of the past.
“We live in a society where parenting skills are pretty much left to osmosis: we absorb from those around us, primarily our own parents,” Queen said. “The bottom line is that you will probably parent much the same way you were parented unless you consciously choose to do otherwise.”
Sandy Queen’s lecture is a community education program sponsored by Tahoe Forest Hospital District’s Women’s Wellness Weekend and the Tahoe Truckee Unified School District.
For more program information, call 582-3483. To make childcare reservations, call 587-2513.