Grasshopper Soup: The snow test " If it’s white, it’s alright | SierraSun.com

Grasshopper Soup: The snow test " If it’s white, it’s alright

Bob Sweigert
Grasshopper Soup

Poof! At last. Winter has blossomed in the Sierra. No one can deny the miracle. Snow euphoria has appeared, and it is real. Out of a world sometimes null and void of justice, the white gold crystallizes our winter playground.

As political corruption shakes our faith in America’s most powerful institutions, from out of the north our panacea is born, inducing us with life and hope, just in time for Christmas. Our escape from a crazed world full of suspicious powder and toxic toys is assured. Or is it?

If you love something, and think it loves you, it still might whack you unexpectedly. We just received an overdue envelope containing suspicious powder. Is it anthrax, Tide or champagne powder? The suspense is exhilarating!

They say it is better to be prepared before something bad happens, not after. It’s even better to be prepared for bad stuff before and after it happens in the real world. Be careful.

In winter, the mountains are like a huge shipment of toxic toys hidden underneath sweet, suspicious powder.

Have you ever seen the mountains without snow? Of course you have. If not, imagine them covered with fallen timber, near petrified pine branches, rocks, bushes, bear traps, bottomless pits of hell, waterfalls, old concrete foundations, wrecked cars, trucks and busses, twisted rebar, old refrigerators and rusted pipes.

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As you stand atop your favorite run, think to yourself, “Are my skis going to hit any toxic toys?” Don’t jump in blind. If the powder is too shallow it could be like diving head first into a swimming pool with no water in it.

All powder is suspicious powder. Oh, we can know some things about the powder we are about to ski, or lose control of a car in. Some changes in snow consistency can be very accurately anticipated by analyzing the terrain, snow depth and water content, but be suspicious.

Toxic toys are not for children. Suspicious powder needs to be carefully tasted and bravely tested. What looks like enough may not be. May your next powder experience be safe.

We are all VIP’s (except Illinois governor Blagojevich). Very interesting people. Vested in powder. Not everyone in Truckee and the Tahoe Basin is a skier. But we are all vested in powder, and all kinds of snow. Our summers, too, depend on snow. Let it slow you down.

Winter was beginning to look a little “iffy.” Now we are getting cold feet under a robe of white. I am not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere some Ski Patrol Director or snow surveyor has already spoken those true, but useless words, “But it’s not the kind of base we want.”

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. It might mistake your nose for a carrot or an apple.

There’s really only one way to look at the mountains this week; full of thanks, wonder and resounding joy. If it’s white it’s right.

Perhaps the world we live in will never be as pure as the driven snow. Americans who justify “Pay to play the Chicago way” politics care only about themselves, not their children, or their grand children’s future. Stop them before they stop you.

Like them, Winter bears judicial scrutiny, especially when you are standing at the top of Chute 75 on KT-22, or Idiot’s Delight at Alpine Meadows, with the front of your skis suspended in air over the precipice.

Thank God, a few brave, strong people here at home are hunting down and prosecuting Wall Street crooks, influence peddlers and corrupt state governors. There may still be hope for America. Yes, the law, and the promise of a good ski season, is here.

Finally, it looks like there may be a chance for “Change we can believe in.”