It’s Halloween " as if the world wasn’t scary enough already | SierraSun.com

It’s Halloween " as if the world wasn’t scary enough already

Bob Sweigert

Tonight is Halloween. Time to take a break from the real scary things in life, like death, taxes and Boston Red Sox fans and scare ourselves even more with make believe ghosts and just-for-fun blood, guts and gore.

It’s more entertaining than Democrats trying to scare us about Republicans and Republicans trying to scare us about Democrats, not to mention both of them trying to scare us about the other candidates in their own party, especially if they are getting too close, or too far away from them in the polls.

Hillary Clinton scares me most of all. My intuition tells me there is something creepy about her. A perfect Halloween president. If she is nominated and wins the White House it will be the first time in American history that we will have two presidents at once, Hillary and Bill Clinton. Not only that, Bill will be the first president to get an automatic third term. Then how will we know who is acting as president on any given day? They’ll be sleeping in different rooms but both taking phone calls and making decisions together.

Two presidents for the price of one. That’s scary. At least we’ll know there won’t be any sex in the Oval Office.

Yeah, it’s a scary world all right. Students at Columbia University sit politely and allow Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to speak, as they should, but when a right wing conservative is invited to speak they storm the stage, screaming, “His views are too extreme.” Storming the stage and threatening speakers with torture is middle of the road for them, I guess.

Me, I want to hear all sides, and some people find that scary. Why would you want to hear someone you disagree with? I tell them I like diversity. Viva la difference!

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They tell me diversity only applies to hair do’s, skin color, sexual orientation, tattoos and body piercings, not ideas. They say if I am not afraid of different ideas, then I must not care. And they are right. I say, “Don’t believe everything you think”, and they don’t get it. They look puzzled, as if to say, “But, um, I think, uh…you just don’t get it, do you?” And they keep repeating that over and over, which is scary.

Watch out. Here comes the Storm Troopers. They are kicking doors down all across the country and taking people away. Can’t you see them?

And they say George Bush and Dick Cheney are taking away our civil rights. They must be getting their marching orders from the students at Columbia University, the real pros at rights violations. But students know more than the most experienced among us. They don’t need any instruction from us, gasp, adults.

The students not only allowed the Iranian president to speak, they hung on his every word, pretending they actually understood his illogical, disjointed babble. I listened to him carefully, and watched him closely. All I heard him say was that you can’t understand reality unless you convert to Islam and become as holy as he is. Only then will you achieve true enlightenment and be able to see the world as it really is ” scary.

That’s my impression of his sermon anyway. He actually tried to lecture us on the nature of reality and God. If a white Christian, say, a Catholic monk, tried to speak on those topics, the students probably would have stoned him, or at least tried to get him stoned.

I could be wrong though. Maybe all Mahmoud said was that he was going to be a pirate for Halloween and steal our country right out from under our noses.

What will I be for Halloween? I’m going to be somebody I don’t agree with. I won’t be able to decide on a costume. I’ll just stay home, with someone I don’t agree with on anything. We’ll huddle tight, clinging to each other, scared to death that one of us is going to kill somebody, like the one they don’t agree with.

That’s what I call a happy Halloween. A little schizoid, but happy.