Lose weight, look amazing, live forever… ask me how!
March 9, 2010
How long will you search for a way to change your body? How much money will you spend trying to shape your body into a new mold and make it invincible to illness? How much time and energy will you divert from your relationships, your career, your creative pursuits, in order to “work” on your body? How many new diets, new supplements, new exercise resolutions, and new practitioners will you try? How many cycles of hope and disappointment will you endure before you try a truly different approach?
How about an approach that is not built on fear and avoidance of the actual body you are in right now?
Body fear and avoidance is understandable – for the most part, we can’t control what our bodies look like, and we can’t control the cycles of illness, aging and breakdown. Our bodies betray us, lead us into places our minds do not approve, and confuse us. They also store the physical and emotional pain of past accidents, abuse and trauma. The messages we receive from advertising and news media reinforce our anger and fear of our own bodies. We can’t trust them – we must control them.
Along with this fear, we are promised a solution – we can control our bodies, look perfect and never get sick by paying four easy payments of $19.99 for a diet plan, by taking a daily dose of the popoluciponoberry from Antarctica, by never eating bagels, or by meditating and chanting.
Are you in control yet?
Or, have you given up completely and just do whatever you want despite the impact on your body? Or, do you swing between trying to control your body and giving up?
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If and when you are willing to let go of the attempts to control your body, there is another option available that respects your goal of feeling good and having a healthy body. There is a “crazy and radical idea” that accepting and loving the body you have is actually your best bet at feeling and looking good.
You don’t have to like your body all the time – who does?
But, still, try to show it some open-hearted love and respect. Even for a moment. Pretend that you feel love for your body. Say it in your head: “I love my body.” Send the feeling into your arms and legs and stomach and chest. Allow yourself to be in your body, without any demands that it look or feel different: “I love my body, even though I am annoyed and disappointed with it.”
When you let go of trying to control your body, and create a love-based, instead of fear-based, relationship with it, there is an opportunity for healthy and productive mind-body cooperation. The two of you are in this life together, like it or not. With that respectful and cooperative relationship at the core of your life, your choices about new diets, or special berries, or certain exercise plans, are based on reason and solid intentions toward health, instead of panic and fear and anger. Choice by choice, you begin to lose fear, look alive, and live fully … just ask me how.
– Danielle B. Klotzkin, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, provides psychotherapy for clients who are looking for a way to move forward through relationship issues, problems with alcohol, drugs, or managing money, eating and body issues, trauma, grief and loss, depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety. Contact her at (530) 470-2233 or truckeecounseling.com.