Pine Nuts: Lysistrata, the birds, and the bees |

Pine Nuts: Lysistrata, the birds, and the bees

McAvoy Layne
Pine Nuts

Of our planet's soon to be 8 billion inhabitants, not all of us can read and not all of us can write, but every one of us knows how to procreate, and for pure unadulterated pleasure, procreation beats the stuffings out of reading or writing good books. However, this aptitude of ours is creating some really, really big problems.

Nigeria, where they seem exceptionally proficient, is on line to double its population by 2050, yet in this enlightened year of 2017, reproductive health care is declining in Nigeria, so Nigeria is in line to become the third largest populated country in the world after China and India.

Migration? Honey, we ain't seen nothing yet. The largest generation of adolescents in human history is about to reach puberty, and this means even the bushes in Cucamonga need to be nervous. The world population boom is about to go "Ba-Boom!" And when we can't afford to educate these new kids what are they supposed to do?

Well, my uneducated guess is that they will pick up an easy to obtain gun, and if there is no game to be shot for dinner, they will rob the tribal leader or politician or neighbor, who they feel has more to eat than they do. Our former society of "material" haves & have nots will be replaced with a society of "weapons" haves & have nots.

I am starting to understand why the National Rifle Association is so determined to gin up. Should society collapse and we become hunters and gatherers again, we gatherers are going to get the short end of the stick.

But let us talk seriously about family planning and harken back to the early days of Greece when Lysistrata convinced the women of that great society to reserve all love making until both opposing sides signed a treaty of peace to end the Peloponnesian War. That's leverage. That is leverage that worked yesterday, will work today, and will work tomorrow. Forget sanctions, war games and brinkmanship, Lysistrata has the answer to the threat of war, and the threat of overpopulation. She can exact peace and prosperity with a single proclamation.

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So who cares if the United States is no longer supporting the United Nations Population Fund for International Family Planning, Lysistrata has the 21st century answer, "No family planning, no fooling around. No family planning, no unplanned family planning. It's called tough love, and it's as simple as that." Oh, and while we're at it, let's throw in some diversity. The sooner we begin to assimilate, the sooner we can dump xenophobia onto the ash heap of history.

I intend to float this policy at the UN next week if I can convince a Uber driver to take credit and drive me to New York, as I am not about to drive there by myself, with no one to talk to, argue with, and enjoy happy hour at the end of the day.

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