Strive to be your best
This is dedicated to the memory of Shane McConkey and to Sherry and Ayla, his lovely wife and sweet daughter. Shane lived believing anything is possible. By living his best life, as a husband and father, or skiing, skydiving and BASE or ski-BASE jumping, he inspired many people to push their own limits and to believe the impossible is possible. Shane was a trailblazer. He pushed the envelope to prove to himself and to show others what was possible. Getting noticed was a by-product of his actions. He did what he did because he believed in himself and he loved to have a good time. Shane proved human flight is an option. Shane believed he could fly ” and he did. Shane was an inspiration to us all, to be our best, and to live our best life. Thank you, Shane. You will be deeply missed. Enjoy your wings, you earned them.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
” “A Return to Love,” by Marianne Williamson
This is one of my all-time favorite quotes. It captures a feeling for me that is pure and true. I am reminded every time I read this I must strive to live my family of origins motto…”Be Your Best”. I know there will be times when I do not actually succeed at being my best self, but I am encouraged to try and then to try again. For me, this process of trying to be my best in all areas of my life makes me aware of what I am actually doing with myself. I become more aware of how I treat others and myself. I become more aware of the intent I put forth in completing projects. I become more aware of the words I speak and of the weight they might carry. I become more aware of how I emotionally and physically show up for others and for myself. I become more aware of my higher self, the Self I want others to know, and of how I want people to feel around me. I am more aware of how I support others to find their best self and then to live their best lives.
Many of us have grown up believing things about our selves that are not true. We have, in a way, swallowed other people’s beliefs about ourselves. This often looks likes memories of people in our past telling us about our future. Some examples are, you will never be successful, you will never be good enough, you will never be happy. You are not a very good partner. You are not the brightest bulb on the tree, you are not very athletic, or very good at reading or the smartest kid in the family. This list can go on and on and for many people the words we have been told about ourselves are like carrying heavy weights around in our stomach. For many, this weight is carried around their entire life.
However, when we become aware we do not have to believe everything that we think, we can choose to drop the heavy burden of someone else’s beliefs and make up our own mind as to what we want to believe about ourselves.
Words are powerful. The old adage that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not true. Words can be the most powerful and destructive weapon or the most healing and liberating gift we can bestow upon ourselves or upon another person.
So I challenge all of you who read this to ask yourselves these questions… Are you kind to yourself? Are you kind to others? Do you speak with a forked tongue? Are you aware of the messages you tell yourself day in and day out? Do you say and believe you are striving to be your best self? Do you encourage and support others to be their best self? Because in this life, I believe we can all be our best selves, we just have to trust we have the power to change. I believe when we trust change is possible, miracles can and will happen.
As Maryanne Williamson so beautifully said, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Here is to being your best self and to using the season’s change to spring forward out of old belief patterns and into a new paradigm of thought, where we believe in and support ourselves.
” Amy Vail, M.A., PsyD, is a clinical psychologist with offices in Squaw Valley and Tahoe City. She works with couples and individual adults and adolescents helping them find healthier and more satisfying ways to live their lives. She can be reached at 581-2539.