Tahoe Pine Nuts: Bet the OVER on Super Bowl Sunday
This is the moment in time when we remember the two most important things in life, good friends and good guacamole.
Super Sunday is everybody’s favorite holiday because we don’t have to buy a card for anybody. The Hallmark people hate Super Sunday.
And we can actually come out ahead on the day by placing a few smart bets, the possibilities are endless. We can bet on the air pressure in the football (take the OVER 12.5 pounds per square inch).
What you want to do is create a little five-teamer made in heaven (pays 26-1) that will hold your beer fueled attention from the National Anthem, through Lady Gaga to the final gun.
Let’s take a look at the National Anthem. Luke Bryan sang the Anthem at a NASCAR race that I clocked at 2:05. But his grandmother was not watching on television. Most grandmothers can’t stand NASCAR races and neither can I.
However, Luke’s grandmother will be watching on Sunday, so you know Luke is going to work that Anthem like a Wagner Opera to try to please his grandmother. At 2:05 take the over on Luke’s Anthem.
OVER seems to be the best bet on the board. With gunslingers like Ryan and Brady, the pigskin will be in the air most of the day and the score will be high and OVER the under/over score of 58.5. There will be no dropped passes. Would you drop a ball with 115 million people watching, including your grandmother?! Me neither…
Which brings us to punts. Lots of offense dictates fewer punts. This is the one of few times to take the UNDER 7.5 punts. Another UNDER that follows is the total number of sacks. Take UNDER 4 sacks.
Those offensive linemen have been doing nothing but eating ice cream for the past two weeks, so they will be immovable objects, giving Ryan & Brady all the time they need to toss touchdowns.
Which brings us to the all important question, “Who’s going to win? I had to call our Miramonte football coach, Coach Phillips (now a comfortable 94 and going strong) to answer that question. “Take the Patriots and give three, but not more than three.” There it is, Coach knows, it’s in the bank! “Winnah, Winnah, Winnah, Catfish fo’ dinnah.”
I get to watch the game with Lady Rebecca and several classmates from Miramonte High School’s stellar class of ‘61, so I won’t get to see a play or know the score until Monday morning (that class somehow got the corner on talking, and one can’t hardly get his shovel in anywheres).
But I will have the satisfaction of knowing I can return to our Lake of the Sky, run down to the Hyatt, and cash in my little five-teamer made in heaven. I hope you will be able to do the same with your local bookie.
Oh, and if my pigskin picks do not play out exactly as I prognosticate here in this fine family journal, please don’t call the editor and complain.
In closing, and in full disclosure, I should divulge that in our 1961 Miramonte High School yearbook I was voted, “Least Likely To Succeed.”
Learn more about McAvoy Layne at http://www.ghostoftwain.com.