Tahoe Pine Nuts: Cycling to success | SierraSun.com

Tahoe Pine Nuts: Cycling to success

McAvoy Layne
Pine Nuts

Some people are born to stand. These are the kids that cannot sit still at a classroom desk. I know, I was one. This shortcoming landed me in Mrs. Blumberger’s remedial reading class. But finally, in the 21st century, along comes the cycling desk.

Yes, teachers are putting pedals on desks so kids can cycle while they read, and guess what? The learning quotient is going up, up, up.

If we had had cycling desks when I was in middle school I’d have been on the honor roll instead of in the principal’s office, and if we had had cycling desks in my high school, well, I might not have pulled my first and last peccadillo…

I was 16, and out jogging one day when I cut behind Phair’s Market and noticed a fellow loading cases of beer into a storage unit behind the market.

I also noticed a ventilation screen near the bottom of the wall of that storage unit and a light went off in my head. I had tasted beer and liked it, but I would not be eligible to purchase a beer for another five years.

Well, I had just received my driver’s license, so around midnight I slipped out of the house, rolled my ‘55 Chevy quietly down the drive, drove to Phair’s Market and parked around in back.

With a flashlight I located the ventilation screen of the storage unit, unscrewed it and pulled it free.

Then, using a sharpened 2×4 I had fashioned for just such an occasion, I shimmied the sharp end of that 2×4 up between two cases of beer, and sure enough, down came the top case, whereupon I pulled out the cardboard and tossed 24 cans of Hamm’s Beer into my trunk.

The next day after school I walked into Phair’s Market, checked out the price of a case of Hamm’s, located another item of that same price, purchased that item, and put it back on the shelf. I wasn’t wanting to steal my Hamm’s, I just wanted to buy it.

Not long after that regrettable incident, I started jogging on a regular basis, my brain got an infusion of oxygen, and I developed into a law abiding, tax paying, God fearing citizen.

Cycling desks leads me to an idea I have regarding recreation centers. Why not hotwire cycling machines to generate electricity whereby cyclists could collect credit for the energy they supply and reduce their membership fee in the bargain.

We talk all about solar power and wind power, how ‘bout cycling power? Easy; the pedals turn a flywheel, the flywheel turns a generator, the generator charges a battery. Think of the kilowatts just one of those early morning spin classes could generate.

Which leads me to think about Mark Twain’s friend, Nikola Tesla. I have written to Elon Musk asking him to put me on the waiting list for next year’s Tesla Model 3.

What better advertising could Musk ask for than to have the Ghost of Mark Twain driving across this great land of ours in an electric Tesla? I have not heard back from Mr. Musk; perhaps he’s thinking more about Mars these days…

Learn more about McAvoy Layne at http://www.ghostoftwain.com.