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Law Review: A Thanksgiving meal

Jim Porter
Columnist

A young man named, let us say, Simon, received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Simon tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary. Simon himself can be loud, so it was not easy.

Finally, Simon was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Simon shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. Simon, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. Simon has a temper. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, Simon, who on occasion, can be compassionate (unless he is cross-examining a witness), quickly open the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Simon’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” Simon was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.



As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Despite this miserable year 2020, we have much to be thankful for, some of us more than other perhaps. Hopefully relief is around the corner – both on the political front and pandemic. Be smart, be safe.

I apologize for this slightly embellished internet column, but I thought it was appropriate “fare,” albeit “foul,” for the week. And with apologies for that:



HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Despite this miserable year 2020, we have much to be thankful for, some of us more than other perhaps. Hopefully relief is around the corner – both on the political front and pandemic. Be smart, be safe.

Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter Simon licensed in California and Nevada, with offices in Truckee and Tahoe City, California, and Reno, Nevada. Jim’s practice areas include: real estate, development, construction, business, HOAs, contracts, personal injury, accidents, mediation and other transactional matters. He may be reached at porter@portersimon.com or http://www.portersimon.com.


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