Pine Nuts: Saga of the night-vision glasses
My wife, bless her beautiful heart, bought me some night-vision glasses, so now, instead of taking my walks in the afternoon and communing with the neighborhood dogs, I take my walks after dark, and commune with the raccoons.
It’s really amazing to see what’s going on out there in the night. Bats are everywhere. I caught a few and brought them home to show them off, but she only covered her eyes, and pointed to the front door. I let them go outside, but one of them chose to stay, and I didn’t see where he went, though I would soon find out …
Around 10 o’clock she went into the bath and closed the door. Well, I thought Jack the Ripper must have been hiding in wait for her, or the Grim Reaper had jumped out of the shower, for she let out a scream that reminded me of the tsunami sirens that used to scare the living daylights out of us in Hawaii.
I guess that little bat tried to make a nest in her hair because she came out of that bath like it was on fire, and dived onto the couch, pulling a blanket over her head.
About then I remembered the missing bat, put on my trusty night-vision glasses, marched into the bath, turned out the light, and wrapped the missing bat in a towel. I thought about showing the missing bat to the wife, but she was gone from the couch, and now she was the one missing.
As I let the little bat go outside, I noticed a baby raccoon was eyeing me with interest, so I walked over and picked him up in the towel. My wife had returned to the living room, and though her lipstick was smeared and her hair was asunder, I showed her the baby raccoon, and that was bad judgment on my part. She took the night-vision glasses off my face, dropped them onto the floor and stood on them with both feet.
With a sigh, and a heavy heart, I walked outside and let my little buddy go back to his family, knowing I would never see him again, nor him, me.
My wife, meanwhile, has not spoken to me. In all our years, I had never heard her swear until now. She can’t swear very well, so it’s humorous really to hear her try …
“Bats! Bleeping raccoons! I suppose a skunk and a bleeping tarantula might be next!”
Well, I’m back to taking my walks in the afternoon and communing with the neighborhood dogs, and she is back to her sweet-loving self, though if I even touch the back of her hair without her knowing I’m behind her, she will let out a war hoop that will wake General Grant and his wife in their New York tomb.
I asked her if she would get me some new night-vision glasses for Christmas, but he gave me a look that would kill a lesser man, and I changed the subject …
Learn more about McAvoy Layne at http://www.ghostoftwain.com.
Support Local Journalism
Support Local Journalism
Readers around Lake Tahoe, Truckee, and beyond make the Sierra Sun's work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.
Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.
Your donation will help us continue to cover COVID-19 and our other vital local news.
Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.
User Legend: Moderator Trusted User