Pine Nuts: The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord

McAvoy Layne
Pine Nuts

Turkey’s president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, believes, like so many other state leaders, that if you have the bomb nobody will mess with you.

If that logic holds up, well, every tinhorn despot in creation will eventually have the bomb, and who will be safe? Nobody!

The last spoken words on Earth just might be: “But we thought we were making ourselves safe!” Thank you, Mr. Erdogan, but much as I look forward to heaven, I’m not eager to hasten my arrival.

So how do we avoid this inevitability? The answer is so simple as to be overlooked entirely. I call it, “The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord.”

Here’s how it works. We measure the total nuclear weapon yields in kilotons that each nuclear power possesses, and voluntarily reduce that yield by half on the first day of every year until 2025, when all nuclear weapons will be abolished. Our world will then be absolved from the embarrassing prospect of instantaneous self-immolation. We might decide to continue to commit suicide on a slower, more deliberate course, but that is a topic for another day.

You might like to suggest that some countries will not go along with “The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord,” and will boycott it, and in fact will call it, “The 2020 Half-Baked Accord.”

Well then, countries abiding by The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord will simply refuse to do business with countries of The 2020 Half-Baked Accord until everybody is onboard. I shall lead the insurgency myself if nobody else is willing to take command.

Let us take a roll call vote right here and now. As of 2019, the total worldwide inventory of nuclear weapons stands at 13,865. So here we go, kindly check yes, and return to sender:

Yes we will join The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord___ No___

U.S. House Committee on Nonproliferation –

United Nations –

Embassy of the Russian Federation –

Embassy of the People’s Republic of China –

British Embassy –

Consulate General of France –

Embassy of Israel –

Embassy of India – cons1.washington[at]

Embassy of Pakistan –

North Korea –

There, if The 2020 Half-a-Loaf Accord does not buy us some time, I don’t know Arkansas …

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