Faith Factor: Let go of the pain
Special to the Sun
TAHOE/TRUCKEE, Calif. and#8212; When you’re hurting, what do you do? How do you respond to pain? Do you quickly let it go and give it to God or do you hold tight and let it fester in the recesses of your heart?
When I’m hurt, for the most part, I let it show. I walk around with the and#8220;Oh feel so bad for me cause I’m hurtingand#8221; look on my face. Although most of the time, I’m not even meaning to, I walk around with this look nonetheless. When I’m hurt, I become selfish, self-centered and self seeking. I begin to stop caring about those hurting around me and begin to see only myself and my issues. They become more important to me than anything else and#8212; even the glorification of my God and the weight of my Call.
This past week, I’ve had a hurt festering in my heart and#8212; a hurt consuming my mind, body and even dreams. So, naturally, I had the and#8220;lookand#8221; on. I’ve become better at covering it, but whenever I wasn’t consciously keeping it at bay, it would sneak up and spread across my features. Currently, I am in San Diego on a trip visiting the Horizon School of Evangelism with the youth group with which I help.
Last night we went to a study, Adoration, taught by a wise man named Evan Wickham. During worship, God totally captured my attention and heart. He said to me, and#8220;Courtney, look at Me. Keep your eyes off your problems and look at me.and#8221; When I finally lifted my eyes off of my pain and looked onto the beauty of His Face, I had peace and#8212; an overwhelming calm filled my previously disquieted soul.
He began showing me as long as I had my eyes on myself, He could not use me. If my greatest desires in life are to bring glory to Him and bring others to know His Good News, then I had to stop thinking about me and my hurt.
Everyone hurts. My pain does not need any more special attention than the most intimate and personal attention my Savior gives it!
After the service, I saw a friend I knew when I attended, (I graduated from the Horizon School of Evangelism in 2009). She had always been such a source of encouragement to me. Seeing her face brought my soul much joy and I couldn’t wait to speak with her. But when we finally sat down and talked, she said she had been hurt by a guy and no longer wanted to walk with the Lord. She had given up on Christianity. Oh what pain was in my heart. For I could see the spirit of encouragement that once led her had left. All the people she previously touched and changed were no longer being changed or impacted by her. As I looked into her eyes and encouraged the one who once so powerfully encouraged me, God showed me this was the end result of a heart that could not let go of their problems and of their pain: A life rendered useless.
Oh dear believer and#8212; let your pain go! I promise you there is no fulfillment, satisfaction, peace or joy in a life of deeply rooted hurt or bitterness. I know it’s so hard, especially when you’ve come to the point of just no longer caring. Tell Him!
and#8220;God, I honestly don’t care anymore. I have absolutely no desire to follow You anymore. But Jesus and#8230; I know that You alone satisfy. Take this small, repulsive offering, for it’s all I have, and be faithful and draw me close to You. I have no good inside of me, so You alone can draw me closer to You. I surrender myself.and#8221;
Our God is faithful! He hears you! He loves you! He will never leave you or forsake you. Keep up the faith. Let go. Seek Him.
and#8212; Courtney Brimer, a lover of the Lord, Sierra College attendee and Ace Hardware employee who is very involved in her church and community
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