Friends of the Truckee Library: NurtureShock Part II
Children's Services Librarian
Last week I introduced a groundbreaking new book called and#8220;NurtureShock: New Thinking About Childrenand#8221; by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. This week I conclude with a synopsis of the remaining chapters of the book.
In Why Kids Lie, the authors argue that most classic strategies to promote truthfulness just encourage kids to be better liars. The statistics are shocking: 96 percent of all kids lie. Only one-third of 3-year-olds lie, but more than 80 percent of 4-year-olds lie. Four-year-olds lie about once every two hours. Lying once every hour is the average for 6-year-olds. Most children create lies to cover-up doing something wrong. When asked about the issue, the child’s first response is often a denial, which is a lie. To underscore how parents respond to the denial, Bronson and Merryman share research which shows parents address the denial less than 1 percent of the time and focus on the misdeed. Children learn that lying has no cost. Furthermore, parents also expect children to mask their honest reaction to a gift they don’t like. Telling a lie about the gift is polite and children are rewarded for their ability to lie easily. If parents recognize untruths as acceptable sometimes and not acceptable at other times, how can children learn the difference?
In the Search for Intelligent Life in Kindergarten, Bronson and Merryman explain how millions of kids are competing for seats in gifted programs and private schools at ages as early as preschool. Admissions officers say it’s an art, but new science says they are wrong 73 percent of the time. The authors argue we often test children for gifted and talented programs way too early and often miss intellectual late bloomers. Kudos to TTUSD for waiting to test for their GATE program until the end of third grade.
In the interest of space, here is a very brief summary of the remaining chapters of NurtureShock, which will hopefully entice you to read the book for yourself. In the chapter on siblings, Bronson and Merryman contend that a child’s relationship with his/her best friend is often the best predictor of how he/she will get along with siblings. In the Science of Teen Rebellion, the authors explain why, for adolescents, arguing with adults is a sign of respect, not disrespect, and how arguing is actually constructive to the relationship, rather than destructive, and a sign of being honest. In Can Self-Control Be Taught, the authors claim the assertion of self-control being a and#8220;fixedand#8221; trait may not be true. Rather, it may be something that can be developed. In Plays Well with Others, Bronson and Merryman suggest that aggression is not always the exclusive property of bullies. In fact, the so-called and#8220;popular kidsand#8221; will often use kindness and aggression in balanced forms to maintain control. Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn’t delves into why some children learn to speak more fluently and easily before others do. It questions the value of some of the and#8220;baby learningand#8221; programs on the market today, and discusses five ways that parents can help their children as they learn to speak.
All Nevada County libraries will be closed Wednesday, Nov. 18 until 2 p.m. for in-staff service training.
Monday 11 a.m. – 7 p.m.
Tuesday 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Wednesday 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Thursday 11 a.m. – 7 p.m.
Friday 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.
Tuesday Toddler Time at 10:30 a.m. (2 to 3 year olds)
Babes in Bookland Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m. (6 months to 2 years)
(on hiatus through November, back in December)
Storytelling with Mrs. Fix on Thursdays at 11:15 a.m. (3 years and up)
Pajama Time, First Thursday of the month at 6 p.m. (all ages)
Bookshelf’s Dry Camp Book Club at the Library
Meets monthly at the Library. Participants at the book group meeting will receive a coupon for 15 percent off a one-time book purchase at the Bookshelf at Hooligan Rocks. Everyone is welcome.-
Now on display at the library:
Portraits by Truckee artist Raphael Jolly
Above the Fireplace: Sand Harbor in oils by Linda D’Toole