Grasshopper Soup happens, and so does the new Bug Station
The pressure is on. This aspiring columnist has never before faced a crowd of this magnitude. Stage fright feels good compared to the raw inadequacy I am experiencing at this historical moment. Today, Grasshopper Soup is more transparent and vulnerable than ever, openly surrendering itself to the intense scrutiny of three counties under the all-seeing light of the brilliant Sierra Sun. My words better change the world forever and provide an anxiously awaiting mankind with the answers it so desperately seeks. What am I thinking? I should be fishing right now. Its hard to tell if theres more stuff happening in the world or less. Several communities have merged into one daily paper, which now includes national and world news but, the paper is smaller. Makes me wonder what were not hearing about, like covert activities, you know, cloak and dagger stuff or who bought someones silence in the back room. Is Osama Bin Laden and his mad scientist sidekick making any progress towards getting a nuke and blowing up half of America? I mean, are they getting the kind of help they need or are they running in to some obstacles? Does anybody even know? Wouldnt it be ironic if they blew up all of us infidels while we were watching American Idol?A small newspaper raises questions, like, is this all that happened? Another good question might be, if we cant find weapons of mass destruction does that mean there wont be mass destruction? In other words, just because you cant find something does that mean its not there? I know, logic is hard for a lot of Americans. Who designed the new bug station going up out by Prosser, someone who loves 50s style architecture? I thought it was going to be a church. It needs more wood on top, definitely. Shakespeare was obviously right when he said there can be no accounting for taste. Will Truckee River rafting become a national priority or is Congress just too busy with things like, oh, laughing behind the back of everybody who asks them for something?Have you heard about the big controversy in San Diego? An atheist, Philip Paulson, is making a mountain out of an 822-foot tall hill with a cross on it. He wants the cross taken down even though a vote indicated 75 percent of the people in San Diego want the cross to remain. Aint that America?Pesky atheist.Supporters of the Mount Soledad Cross are responding with equal fanfare and fervor, dragging the courts into their zealous and costly game of King of the Mountain. Who will win? The lawyers of course.The cross, or one like it, has been there for three generations. It is a major landmark, much like the Big Tree in the middle of the road once was to Tahoe City. As a matter of fact, jet pilots approaching San Diego have grown accustomed to using the cross as a visual reference point signaling the start of their downwind leg for landing their passengers safely at San Diego International Airport.Will Heaven or Hell suffer with or without the cross? Probably not, but it might make a world of difference to the pilots and passengers of the jets. I guess making an atheist happy is more important than finding the runway.I hope finding Grasshopper Soup has made you happy, or at least bewildered. Look for it again in the Food and Wine section, Home & Garden or Odds & Ends, which is probably where it should be. If you still cant find it, check the Pet Page. Dont even look for it in Life & Learning.One thing is for sure, dont believe everything you dont read because it just might happen.Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, experienced ski instructor and commercial driver. Hes lived on the North Shore of Tahoe for 25 years.
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