Grasshopper Soup: Hoping for a good summer |

Grasshopper Soup: Hoping for a good summer

By Bob Sweigert

It is time! Welcome, to all the summer pleasures coming our way.

Woe are we, the snow has melted out from under our skis. OK, not true for everybody. There may very well be a few die-hards out there still hiking the backcountry for whatever return in turns they can get in exchange for a long hike.

It is time to forget about snow and start indulging in pure, liquid water, blue sky, dry mountain trails, wind, fancy parties, outdoor meals, the splendor of physical labor and the timelessness of children at play.

My hope for the summer is to not hear once the sound of a siren. I know what some of you are thinking: if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. But wouldn’t it be nice if we could make it through the entire summer with no one getting hurt, no one having a negative experience of any kind? Que sera, sera.

So far, the summer looks perfect, mainly because it hasn’t happened yet. Sitting on a rock by the lake edge, looking in to the crystal ball of Tahoe waters, I see an ideal summer. I also see a dead crawdad. Hope seasoned with realism. There are no blue skies and warm evenings without gray skies, lightning and thunder.

I wonder if it is safe to set foot on the University of Notre Dame campus now that all those dangerous little old priests and nuns are gone. The university was arresting their own kind for being there last week. They were arrested for trespassing and peaceably assembling without a permit. And, they were arrested by campus security, not the local police force. This can only mean there is an ungodly division within the Catholic church.

The First Amendment doesn’t say you need a permit to peaceably assemble either, but that’s a story for another column. I’m trying to stay away from politics today. Or not.

I am totally opposed to Catholic bashing, but, even without the abortion controversy, just based on the arrests alone, I would say Notre Dame is no longer a Catholic institution. To have those good, upstanding people arrested runs contrary to the finest traditions of true Catholicism.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on such things, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, all the way to the pearly gate. When I see harmless old priests and nuns being handcuffed and literally carried away, I wonder about the future of the church. More egregious behavior within the church has harmed it enough already. Could these latest developments indicate the church really is losing her way? Perhaps some of our local clergy could comment on this quandary and show me where I am going wrong.

But, please don’t let me ruin your yet-to-begin, perfect summer with religion and politics. Spring cleaning should be the only thing standing between you and a great season. If you have kids graduating this year, getting them out of the house and on their own might also be considered a form of spring cleaning. Good luck with that project. It could take years.

If those young adults of yours leave home, but keep coming back, after the third time you could consider having them arrested. Did I just say that? What is this world coming too?

Maybe we should end the common practice of leaving home altogether. It’s so not green. It just means our offspring will have to build more houses and consume more of the earth’s resources and energy, which would accelerate global warming and third world hunger and poverty.

Having families live together throughout their entire lifetimes would certainly be interesting, wouldn’t it? If I were still living with my parents, all I would ever watch on TV would be Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune and Antiques Road Show.

I’d rather destroy the planet.

Happy Memorial Day weekend. Make lots of money, and have a great summer.

Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, ski instructor and commercial driver. He’s lived at Lake Tahoe for 25 years.

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