Grasshopper Soup: Seeing the world through rose-colored glasses |

Grasshopper Soup: Seeing the world through rose-colored glasses

By Bob SweigertGrasshopper Soup

Deepak Chopra, the distinguished speaker and author of spirituality books, appeared on Bill OReillys The Factor show last December wearing a pair of shades that would have turned Elton John green with envy. The entire frame was bright red and sparkling with glitter. It was hard to tell how much Mr. Chopra may have paid for his spiritual accessories. They were either a pair of girls glasses he found at a garage sale for fifty cents, or a designer pair he had custom made for somewhere between $300 and $3,000. OReilly chickened out and didnt ask about the specs. I would have, as tactfully as possible of course, by saying something like, Hey! Wow! Mr. Hollywood! Whats with the materialistic display? You look like Ugly Betty!. Either Deepak wore them as a joke, or he had no idea how funny they really were. He certainly has the right to strike it rich and buy anything he wants. Nothing un-American about that. Politicians do it all the time. But isnt it incongruous for a spiritual man to decorate his face like a Las Vegas showgirl? I hear he has shoes to match. Spirituality has certainly evolved since Jesus wore sandals. When we see the Dalai Lama in a Liberace shirt, with black leather pants and a long silver chain from a chrome studded black belt to a big fat leather wallet in his back pocket, well know the end is near.You could say that glittery glasses are more precious than frankincense, myrrh and gold. You could say that fashion is the way, the truth and the life. Or, you could say that Deepak has real Hollywood class, bestowed upon him by Tinkerbelle herself. I would like to see pageants celebrating the new fashion, like, say, a Little Miss Spiritual Beauty Queen contest. Or, a religious cult reality show. See if some hunk of a guy can convince a giddy bunch of potential female followers that he is totally spiritual, and persuade the whole lot of them to worship Elmers glue, or Velcro.I dont think Gandhi or Jesus ever went shopping for shades. But, they didnt have the Hollywood celebrity market to mine. Hey, whatever sells your books. I just think Elton John glasses on a spiritual person is like a bikini on Queen Elizabeth. It just seems a little out of place, but it makes me laugh. When I saw Deepaks glasses I laughed so hard I spilled tofu all over my lap. Thanks Deepak. Laughter is divine.Maybe we should all see the world through rose colored glasses. With everybody seeing things the same way we might create economic stimulus that really works, for everyone. We need to get everyone thinking and acting the same, like in a cult. Differences of opinion are just a big hassle when trying to be patriotic. You can control entire populations that way, even reduce the population by marching them off a cliff.Flocks are to be fleeced. We need more cult leaders. They convince people to give them all their money to follow them. Following is fun, especially when shopping for sunglasses. And its easy. Besides, all kinds of mutually beneficial relationships become possible when everyone is in agreement. Perks on the physical plane of existence multiply like loaves and fishes at the Sermon on the Mount. Some cult leaders like to dip their magic wand in the bread basket. That usually brings lawsuits for inappropriate conduct. Cults can be as corrupt as politics. Like Teddy Roosevelt said, When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer present or not guilty. Im not saying Deepak is a cult leader. But his explanations of spiritual things are more complicated and lengthy than the IRS tax code. The Secretary of the Treasury cant even figure it out. Fancy glasses dont necessarily help you see any more clearly than a blind man. Bob Sweigert is a Sierra Sun columnist, published poet, ski instructor and commercial driver. Hes lived at Lake Tahoe for 25 years.

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