GUEST COLUMN: It’s the time of year to show your love
The stores have been putting out the red heart-shaped boxes of candy for several weeks now. They certainly don’t want us to forget the next event – Valentine’s Day.
On Valentine’s Day we have an opportunity to let loved ones really know of our love and caring for them. Doing this will take more energy than grabbing a heart-shaped box of candy off the rack and buying a preprinted card and signing your name to it. The extra effort will be well worth the investment for you and for the one(s) you share with.
When you begin to think about your loved ones and in what ways they are important in your life, your appreciation for just what they represent to you and how much they enhance your life; you will find your heart warming toward them. That is what the true spirit of Valentine’s Day is about.
If you think that Valentine’s Day is merely a fabrication of Hallmark to make money you are mistaken. Legends regarding the origins of this occasion date back to 270 A.D. when it was a remembrance of St. Valentine’s death.
Keeping in mind the nearly 2,000 years of energy for Valentine’s Day, it behooves us to commemorate it with focus and respect. With the idea of really using this opportunity to communicate our caring and love, I offer some food for thought.
What is it that my loved one really responds to as an act of love? My wife loves a personal written note that specifically describes ways in which she is important to me. I believe that personally written notes such as this are deeply appreciated by many of us, male and female. They let us know that the other has taken the time to really go inside themselves and then describe all the ways that they love us. So, I would strongly recommend this as number one priority.
We can make this event even more powerful if we add in additional tokens of our love. When creating the appropriate token of our love it is very important to think of just what is experienced by the loved one as a truly loving gift. For example, my wife really appreciates receiving cut flowers. She doesn’t particularly appreciate receiving potted plants. The point is, really focus on what the loved one experiences as a gift of love rather than what you would like to do or think is a great gift.
For those of you who are challenged in expressing yourselves in these romantic ways there are some books out that have lots of great ideas. One such book is, “1001 Romantic Things to Do,” volumes one and two. Even for those of us not so challenged, these kinds of books are quite helpful in taking us out of our usual routines of expression.
By stretching yourself and using this occasion as an opportunity for deep and creative expression of your love it will deepen your appreciation for your loved one, as well as their understanding of how special they are to you.
Rolf Godon, Ph.D., is a Truckee resident and psychologist specializing in enhancement of relationships. He is hosting a weekend relationship enhancement workshop on Feb. 24-25. For details, call 587-2557.
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