Humor in the courtroom |

Humor in the courtroom

Here are some legal laughs and courtroom bloopers, compiled by court reporters across the country, and put into a book called Disorder in the Court. The court reporters call them “transquips.”


Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edgington at the Rose Chapel?

A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Edgington was dead at that time, is that correct?

A: No, he was sitting there on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


Q: Miss Ball, do you know whether in fact James put his seat belt on, or are you just surmising he didn’t?

A: I know he didn’t put his seat belt on.

Q: What is your personal observation of that?

A: Because when we were driving down the street James was mooning people through the back window.

Q: Kind of hard to moon people with a seat belt on?

A: That’s right.


Q: Are you restricted some what by having your third finger shot off?

A: Yeah a little.

Q: What could you do before the accident that you can’t do now?

A: Wear a ring on it.


Mr. Ostenson: Could you go back and find a place in the record where I first asked the witness about Samaritan Health Service’s intentions with regard to trying to keep Mayo out of Scottsdale?

The court reporter: Question: “Did Mr. Teng say that he had agreed with Mayo that Mayo would not building a tertiary-care hospital in the Scottsdale area?

Answer: “No. I think I would have remembered that.”

Question: Did Mr. Teng say that he had discussed SHS’s desire not to have the Mayo Clinic build a tertiary-care hospital in the Scottsdale area?

Q: So what Mr. Teng said was, “Hold the Mayo?”


A: It was a tight chest, having a hard time catching air.

Q: And did this come on suddenly?

A: Yeah. It was the first time I experienced it.

Q: Where were you when it came on?

A: In bed.

Q: Sleeping, or were you –

A: You really want to know?

Q: I just want to know if it was activity induced?

A: I was having sex.

Q: I think we could say it was activity induced. And had you had a cigarette any time around this time?

A: No, of course I was not smoking during sex. My wife asked me once, “Do you smoke after sex?”

I said, “I’ve never looked down there to see.”


Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I went to school for it and everything.


The court: To the charge of driving while intoxicated, how do you plead?

The defendant: Drunk


Q: Trooper, was the defendant obviously drunk when you arrested her?

Defense Counsel: Objection, your Honor. It calls for a conclusion.

The Court: Sustained.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant were your red and blue lights flashing?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?

A: “What disco am I at.”

Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter Simon, with offices in Truckee and Reno. He is also a mediator.

Support Local Journalism


Support Local Journalism

Readers around Lake Tahoe, Truckee, and beyond make the Sierra Sun's work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Your donation will help us continue to cover COVID-19 and our other vital local news.

Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User


Don Rogers: That sieve, memory


An older friend I made when I began here in 2016 called the other day to talk about the paper. I hadn’t heard from her in awhile and, well, I’ve been here just long enough…

See more