Law Review: More morphine, and watch the language |

Law Review: More morphine, and watch the language

After a one-month hiatus from the Law Review, I return ” with an explanation and two light-law (cocktail-law) pieces.

I have always dealt with pain by ignoring it. Knee surgery ” nothing to it. A couple of lobotomies ” never felt a thing. I didn’t even know what pain was until April 5.

It was April 5 when I came out of six hours of abdominal surgery at UC. Davis Medical Center in Sacramento, having had a foot of my colon removed as the ultimate fix for a recurring case of diverticulitis, an infection of the large intestine.

Doc: “So, on a scale of one to 10, how much pain are you in?”

“Ten. A full-on 10, maybe even higher.”

Doc: “What does the pain feel like?”

“I don’t know, just real intense, serious hurting.”

Doc: “Does it feel like someone just put a knife in your belly?

“Yes, yes, that’s exactly what it feels like.”

Doc: “Ok, let’s get you some more morphine.”

The good doctor told me I would be in the hospital for five to seven days and home for another two to three weeks. I told her I would be back at work in a week. I mean, I have billable hours. Clients need me.

She was right. It’s been over a month. I am almost ready to return.

My slower-than-expected recovery included a two-day stay in the new intensive care unit at Tahoe Forest Hospital. TFH knows how to take care of patients, believe me.

Anyway, I am still not back to work, but I’m off of the couch and looking forward to something other than mashed potatoes and applesauce with a side of white rice.

I am not sure what the lesson is, but if you’re 50ish, I recommend a high fiber diet. I now sleep with my Metamucil.

I’m honored. Our new Tahoe Truckee High School principal took me to task for an April 6 column about an overweight guy who was abused at the gym by an overzealous, macho personal trainer.

The principal didn’t like the language used by the Court, which we quoted verbatim in the column. I will forward his letter to the Third District Court of Appeal and remind the justices to edit their opinions for “a general audience.”

The principal’s letter suggests that the Sierra Sun with the Law Review might be unsuitable for use in classrooms as a teaching tool. That’s interesting, as two students told me the principal circulated the column and his letter to several classes asking that they be read in class.

I had no intention of writing a response to the “Bad Language” Letter to the Editor, but after a half dozen parents urged me to do so, one adding “take on that ******” (expletive deleted as requested), I thought why not.

This is embarrassing for lawyers, but there is a silver lining. An administrative law judge in Washington D.C. was not pleased when his expensive suit was lost by the dry cleaners, owned by the Chung’s, immigrants from South Korea, so he sued them for $65 million. Part of the litigation was for the price to rent a car every weekend for ten years to go to another dry cleaner as he did not want to return to the Chung’s. The plaintiff judge refused to dismiss his lawsuit even after his other suit was found.

The good news is the bar association and other judges are going after the abusive administrative law judge. It would be nice to see his ticket pulled. He should try a little less starch in his shorts.

Jim Porter is an attorney with Porter-Simon, with offices in Truckee, South Lake Tahoe and Reno. He may be reached at or at the firm’s web site

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