Out of the Blue: Deliciously cinematic
Out of the Blue
Like most armchair political experts in the world, I’ve been oversaturated since James Comey got fired last week. Whenever one spends 15 minutes instead of two scanning internet news articles and three hours poring through DVR’d news programs after that, a feedback-loop mania sets in, one in which even the most esteemed talking-head panel guests begin to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher after a while.
Having tried to arrange these new pieces of information in my mind without craning my neck every nine seconds toward the TV to make sure I haven’t missed the next ‘Breaking News’ ticker-tape bulletin, Donald J. Trump seems very hurt that the world isn’t more appreciative of him having made his sayonara Comey executive decision.
Sure, he tweeted that we liberals were just hypocrites about the whole thing, but even those within his highest-echelon elite seemed miffed that DJT stepped in it again, forcing them to endlessly spin yet another new distraction instead of moving on to, you know, actual work.
It’s deliciously cinematic. Consider these snapshots from the last handful of days that will be stunning alongside a lush, full-orchestra musical score and all the best actors the network can afford when HBO makes its DJT miniseries in a few years:
In or around?
The firing of James Comey will prove to be a quintessential event in the Trump White House, but my favorite takeaway is the coverage of press secretary Sean Spicer hiding on the White House grounds, somewhere in relation to some bushes. Some news outlets claim he was taking a breather in the bushes, others confirm he was merely among them.
Whatever the case, picture it: after having run the gauntlet of arguably the most poorly organized administration in the history of the United States, Spicey (sorry, I can only picture Melissa McCarthy in the role) has no choice but to duck out of whatever press junket or meeting he was in to escape to the shrubbery of natural peace, to ponder an immaculately maintained hedge or two, and wonder whether his life will ever be normal again.
DJT makes nice with that nasty woman
The initial memo, one that was printed in full on the covers of most major U.S. newspapers, ostensibly claims that the Worst Supporting Actor Razzie Winner (Ghosts Can’t Do It —1990) was so appalled at the terrible way Comey treated the handling of the last few investigations into Hillary Clinton’s private email server that he was compelled to send the guy packing.
This is truly in keeping with all the kind, considerate things DJT said during his last months on the campaign trail. Not. It was “lock her up.” Every time, all the time.
Does this mean Donald turned the corner with Hillary? Has he, one of the most notoriously brooding grudge-holders in the realm of social media, decided to not only offer an olive branch to his crooked one-time nemesis but to lure her to his side of things by doing what she probably would have done in her first week in office: fire this Comey guy?
The Greatest Lie of All
Somehow, DJT seems to have meant his slap-shot memo to be a unifying treatise. Whether he was acting on pure integrity or just being sneaky, it really does appear that DJT thought he was saying, “He’s fired. You’re welcome, everybody. Democrats and Republicans.”
Donald will take any opportunity he can to lie — he’s able to keep up at least one doozy a day, if you count the way he won’t shut up about inauguration turnout or voter fraud — but this one has the potential to pivot his historical relevance.
DJT isn’t sore that Hillary and her campaign were treated unfairly by this guy who felt ‘nauseous’ about swaying the election: Comey and his office were getting too close with Russia collusion stuff and DJT wanted to distract us from that, to turn the conversation elsewhere.
If he was a prudent man, he’d open himself up to all requests the fake news media has to offer him. If he’s truly squeaky-clean and no one in his inner circles had anything to do with nefarious Russian election meddling, why not invite a clear picture of that?
Ratings might drop — plain, earnest revelation like that can be quite boring — but it would nip things it in the bud and make all of us following the story as though it was the most important thing in the world zip our lips and move onto more pressing issues.
Alas, the depth of quicksand in Washington has doubled in the last week. Maybe that’s what Sean Spicer was thinking — if he starts to sink, he can use White House shrubbery to pull himself out!
Mike Restaino is a writer and filmmaker based out of Incline Village. He is also a founding member of the North Tahoe Democrats. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.