Pine Nuts: Don’t look now, but your Y chromosome is shrinking |

Pine Nuts: Don’t look now, but your Y chromosome is shrinking

Forget hair loss, we men are losing our Y chromosome, and that Y chromosome as it turns out, is more important even than cars or guns. The Y is what makes us men, makes us love to drink copious amounts of beer, tailgate, and watch movies like “Into Darkness” and “After Earth.” It is the Y that has prompted us to try our level best to exterminate each other over the millenniums. Now science tells us our Y chromosome is shrinking, and that could be a good thing.

While we have been busy shedding genes to a lowly 19, the ladies’ chromosome, the X, has maintained its robust 800 genes. What does this mean? Well, I’m not a scientist, I can’t tell a chromosome from a chrome bumper, and I can’t read tea leaves, but even I can pretty much see the writing on the wall. We’re doomed.

Unless we first blow ourselves to Kingdom come we are destined to be exhibits in zoos, and the sign outside the cage will read as follows. “MAN: Once dominate sex that produced too many androgens and blew himself up. One little dose of estrogen saved him from extinction.”

The older I get the more faith I have in women and the less faith I have in men. We are inane. Guns? The very identity of manhood has a direct correlation to fire power. While working in a small town in California this past weekend I roomed next to some bikers who had chosen this small town to relax. They were the nicest, polite as pie people on the planet, one of whom prized himself in owning, “…two thousand rounds of hollow-nose bullets that expand upon impact and will pretty much ruin your day.” I closed my eyes and closed my window. Why do we have to advertise our manhood by bragging about how much destructive power we have in our possession? We do it as individuals and we do it as states -I cite North Korea.

Women are not entirely innocent. They continue to support us when we rush off to the next jihad, war, pogrom or genocide. They continue to insist on innocence when evidence is preponderant against their sons in a bombing incident. But this is natural. Mothers are inculcated with an unconditional love for sons.

In the end, the X chromosome, the stronger chromosome, will prevail. That is to say, it will prevail providing we men folks don’t accidentally blow up the women folks in an attempt to rid the world of our manly enemies.

Ultimately women are going to have to figure out a way to propagate without us. But hey, we know it’s been done at least once before, and sharks can do it, so why can’t women learn to do it?

In parting, allow me to say this in advance of our being gone forever, “Good luck ladies, we wish you every happiness, but how in heaven’s name are you going to have a good time without us?” Don’t answer that question…

Learn more about McAvoy Layne at

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