Pine Nuts: Were I coaching the Warriors things would be different

McAvoy Layne
Pine Nuts

Let’s talk round ball … I was a baller myself until I got cut from the squad. I remember Coach’s last words to me as he sent me to the showers, “Layne, this is a team sport!”

My specialties, high-diddle-diddle, right-down-the-middle, and my half-court hook, though admired by my girlfriend, were not appreciated by our coach. It kills me to remember that moment, for were it not for my being sent to the showers, I might have been a somebody.

Fact is, were it not for that ignoble moment, I could be coaching the Golden State Warriors today in place of Steve Kerr, who is deserving I must confess.

Were I coaching the Warriors today there would be some changes I would make right away … first I would inaugurate a Warriors’ shot clock of 14 seconds, shaving 10 seconds off the NBA shot clock of 24 seconds. Why? Well, this will serve to keep the Warriors playing at a pace at which they are most efficient, full throttle.

Next I would invigorate pre-game warm ups to a level where they might actually break a sweat. This will prevent them from starting games with a lethargy that gives opponents a six point bulge right out of the gates on most nights. Have you ever watched the Warriors warm up before a game? They might just as well be playing badminton or a game of chess while their cheerleaders get right with it and break a sweat. The beer man at Oracle Arena breaks a sweat before Steph Curry on most nights.

Thirdly, I would send Kevin Durant and Draymond Green out on a fishing trip. I would rent a rowboat and send Kevin and Draymond out onto Lake Merritt in that rowboat for an hour alone together with only their fishing rods and some bait. That would end the bickering between the two of them that is so unnecessary and so unbecoming.

Finally, I would give Kevon Looney more playing time and let him develop into the superstar that is within him. This kid has yet to unleash his potential. When DeMarcus Cousins is ready to play sometime after Christmas, Looney will be controlling the paint and Cousins will be ready to step in when Looney needs a blow.

Oh, one more thing … I would change the color of the Warrior uniforms to OLED yellow, the brightest color possible to the naked eye. That glowing brightness will enhance the extended passes that provide the Warriors with so many fast break points. The Warriors are better at long passes than are the New England Patriots, and OLED yellow jerseys will serve to augment their touchdowns.

So there it is, a game plan for a successful run to the playoffs for the Golden State Warriors, as outlined by the kid whose half-court hook never did go through the hoop, not even once.

Learn more about McAvoy Layne at

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