The Sierra Sun: home of leftism
The Sierra Sun’s editorial department is, without a doubt, one of the most left-leaning in California.
Yeah, I can hear some wit out there right now – “We already knew this, ya commie liberal conspiracy theorist jet-skiing treehugger!”
But now, we are more leftist than ever.
There are three of us in the editorial department, now – Darin, Abby and myself. All three of us strongly lean to the left.
Left-handed, that is.
Yep, all three of the Sun’s current editorial staff are lefties. Considering that left-handers are about 10 percent of the general population, the case can indeed be made that this newspaper is a sanctuary for the “differently-handed.”
We had a gigantic and enormous staff way back, oh, just about last week or so. But our temporary summer intern, Erin, has gone merrily back to Colorado to continue her learnin’, while our other reporter Alex Freemon has chosen to move back to the Bay Area.
So, Darin Olde is stepping up from the sports department to become our full-time police, government and environmental reporter -his outstanding work covering the Donner Lake Water Crisis has shown he can take complex issues and, pun intended, “boil them down” for the general reader.
Besides, he’s a left-hander and I’m blatantly prejudiced toward my own kind.
One of my first acts upon taking over as editor of the Sun was to order a shiny new pair of left-handed scissors. The pride this engendered amongst us left-handed editorial staffers was nothing short of spectacular.
You see, while you right-handed folk out there may not notice it, there is a careful campaign of discrimination out there against us leftists. Tools such as scissors, computer mouses, writing desks and can-openers were designed by and for the right wing, and the contortions a leftie must undergo to use your typical pair of scissors are most humiliating and painful.
The new leftie scissors sit gleaming on my desk and occasionally my fellow leftie co-workers will saunter over to fondle them clandestinely; if you are a leftie who’s encountered a leftist tool for the first time, you will understand their quiet glee.
“At last,” they think. “I can scissor without shame!”
We are fortunate, us young lefties, that we grew up in a world without people trying to change our innate leftness. I know of older left-handers who were forced to write with their “natural” right hands in grade school, or risk having their left hands whapped with a ruler.
We have come a long way since then. Four of the last five U.S. Presidents, in fact, were lefties (Ford, Reagan, Bush and Clinton). Other notable left-handers include Napoleon, Fidel Castro and Jack the Ripper. This list may actually be undermining my case, now that I think about it.
I believe, anyway, that the Sierra Sun may be the first newspaper in the land with an editorial staff that is 100 percent left-handed.
I have absolutely no facts to back this up with because I blew up my Internet research connection playing “Tomb Raider” on the iMac, but nevertheless I believe my opinion will hold up the weight of my facts, unless they don’t, in which case never mind.
The leftist cabal of writers will continue to promote our leftist views in the pages of the Sierra Sun, and boldly cast aside the consequences.
Henceforth, you will notice all stories will be left-friendly, starting on the left side of the page and moving in a right direction. Headlines will also begin on the left. We are confident that most of our readers will adjust to this radical design change without problems.
Sierra Sun Editor Nik Dirga grew up in Nevada County. His columns have won awards from the Nevada Press Association and the Mississippi Press Association.
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