Fox is biggest boob at Bowl
We have singers Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake to thank for giving a whole new meaning to watching the Boob Tube on Super Bowl Sunday, and the federal regulator of broadcasting is mad enough to order an investigation, calling the incident a “classless, crass and deplorable stunt.”
Timberlake said he did not intend to expose Jackson’s breast in what he called a “wardrobe malfunction” during the halftime show. Wouldn’t it be a better America if people just admitted their stupidity, instead of denying the obvious? Come on Timberlake, you ruined an already horrible halftime show, and did so while all age groups sat with their families and friends and watched. As role models, Jackson and Timberlake ought to be ashamed. As human beings, it’s too bad degenerates like them get to become rich and famous (not to mention Kid Rock. What’s so cowboy about that guy?).
Even more frustrating, CBS has the audacity to air coverage of Jackson’s exposed breast, but they won’t even show a glimpse of an idiot streaker running on the field shortly after the halftime festivities. It makes me wonder where the morals of popular American society really stand, but we do know they’re about as pure as the small star that covered Jackson’s nipple before the camera quickly panned away.
Moving on, I write about Super Bowl XXXVIII mainly because I’m feeling confident heading into my personal offseason, February and March.
I predicted that Peyton Manning would collapse in New England’s frozen stadium, and he did. I predicted Tom Brady would earn his second Super Bowl MVP at 26, and he did (setting a Super Bowl record for completions with 32). I predicted Adam Vinatieri would kick his second Super Bowl-winning field goal, and he did. For some reason my beanie felt a little bit tighter on Monday morning, but I don’t know why.
OK, I was more than 100 yards and a touchdown off with Brady, and I was four yards off about Vinatieri’s FG. And I was a few touchdowns off with the final score (32-29, instead of 17-16). But that’s pretty good, and I hope I’ve earned your trust as the sports editor.
Besides Jackson and Timberlake dancing and singing abreast (so far, my No. 1 pun), there was another aspect of the Super Bowl that bothered me. Actually, it’s a complaint about football decision-making in general. Say what you will about Panthers head coach John Fox and his greatness, but he made the same recurring mistake that has haunted so many NFL coaches – and, unfortunately for his team, he made it twice.
With over 12 minutes left in the game (an eternity in football), the Panthers had stormed back, momentum on their side, to within five points after DeShaun Foster’s touchdown made it 21-16. Fox’s line of thinking was to try to get within a field goal by making a two-point conversion.
So Fox went for two and his team failed, killing their momentum and changing the whole complexion of the game. The decision was just as boneheaded as kicker John Kasay’s errant kick that gave the Patriots the ball on the 40 with 1:08 to play.
Had Fox kicked the extra point earlier to make it 21-17, Muhsin Muhammad’s 85-yard touchdown reception with 6:53 left, plus an extra point, would have made it a 24-21 Panthers lead. Instead, now faced with a 22-21 score, Fox figured he had to attempt the conversion again. Again his team missed. But, Fox should have learned from his first mistake. Contrary to popular belief, a 23-21 lead would have benefited Carolina. Here’s why:
The worse that happens to the Panthers is the Pats score a touchdown and two-point conversion on their next possession (like they did) to make it 29-23. In this case, the Panthers have to drive down the field and score a touchdown (like they did) and kick the extra point to take the lead, 30-29. This strategy would have at least afforded the Panthers a one-point cushion and added a little more pressure to Vinatieri’s kick. Instead, they settle for a tie, and Kasay makes it worse with his kick out of bounds.
Had Fox kicked and made both extra points, Vinatieri’s last second kick would have been for the tie because the Panthers would have been ahead 31-28. If Vinatieri makes it, the Panthers still have overtime to win, and the viewing audience enjoys its first ever Super Bowl overtime. If the Pats lose in OT, maybe the sports world is talking about the two that Vinatieri missed in the first half. But, because of Fox, Vinatieri is a hero, and I am on Vinatieri’s South Dakota bandwagon, waving my red, white and blue.
By not taking the easy points, Fox turned out to be the biggest boob of the four that made their presence known at the Biggest Show on Turf. Luckily for one boob, it won’t have to answer critics and explain its appearance.
Matt Brown is sports and outdoors reporter for the
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