TRUCKEE, Calif. — A national community called Finding Female Friends > 50 may be headed for the Sierra, thanks to Lida McCarthy, a local woman in search of ski buddies and real connection.

McCarthy, 62, moved to Truckee for the same reasons many do: fresh air, mountain views, and the promise of a healthier, more inspired life. After years of moving from place to place flipping houses, she was finally ready to settle in the kind of town she’d always dreamed of calling home.

But once she arrived, something unexpected set in.

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“I didn’t have any friends,” McCarthy said. “No one to call for a ski day or even just to grab lunch with.”

She thought it would be easier. Truckee is full of active people, and skiing had always been one of her greatest joys. But she quickly noticed how rare it was to see women her age on the mountain.

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“I know they’re out there,” she said. “They just don’t know I’m here.”

After a year in Truckee, McCarthy realized just how hard it can be to find female friends after 50.

Then she came across a story about a woman in Los Angeles who had felt the same way and decided to do something about it.

In the early 2000s, Dale Pollekoff, 78, left behind a long career in graphic design in Washington, D.C., and moved to Los Angeles with two simple goals: to get healthier and to make friends.

“I was failing miserably at both,” she said.

Pollekoff lives with myalgic encephalomyelitis, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome, which made it difficult to keep up with high-energy social activities.

In her younger years, meeting people came naturally — through work or shared travel experiences. “You might have a nightlife,” she said. “You go to bars, take vacations, stay at ski lodges.”

But aging — and illness — changed everything. “Your energy drops. You’re past all of that.”

After a decade, she realized that meaningful friendships weren’t going to appear on their own. She turned to Meetup, the popular platform for local events, hoping to find a community of women her age.

Instead, she mostly encountered awkward co-ed gatherings — and lots of people who seemed more interested in dating than making real connections.

“It was bewildering,” she said. “I would meet people, and then they would ghost me.”

After enough false starts, she began to wonder what was wrong with her. Her confidence dropped. “It created a downhill spiral,” she said. “Which only made it harder to put yourself out there.”

So, in 2016, she stopped waiting and hosted her own event on Meetup, just for women over 50 looking for community.

“I thought if 10 people joined, it would be a success,” Pollekoff said.

At the first event, a luncheon at a restaurant, 23 women showed up. Pollekoff, naturally shy, found herself standing at the entrance, suddenly responsible for welcoming a room full of strangers.

“It changes you,” she said. “It gives you permission to do things you were too afraid of before.”

The group took off. 

Within weeks, it had over 200 members. 

By 2018, the number had reached 800, and after a feature in The New York Times, interest skyrocketed. 

Today, Finding Female Friends > 50 is a nonprofit corporation with over 12,000 women, 17 chapters across the country, and a custom-built platform on Mighty Networks.

What began as a small experiment in L.A. has become a thriving national community and for McCarthy, looking to connect with other women in Truckee, it felt like a lifeline.

She’s actively trying to recruit and seek other women in the Truckee – Tahoe area who might want the same thing: friendship, adventure and a little support.

She dreams of having enough women to create clubs like “Old Gal Ski Club” — for casual, pressure-free ski days — or “Misery Loves Company,” for women facing health challenges who just want someone to talk to.

Bridging the Technological Divide

Building a community for older women has its challenges — especially when it comes to technology.

“The hardest issue we face is working with older people who do not know how to work our platform,” McCarthy said.

One new member she met was in and out of chemotherapy and desperate for companionship — but overwhelmed by the digital tools.

“I will sit down with you or call you and spend the next two hours explaining how to use our platform,” McCarthy said.

She hopes to eventually partner with a nonprofit that helps seniors gain digital fluency.

For now, she’s looking for a few local women — skiers, walkers, lunch-goers, talkers — who want to help her build something new in Truckee and Lake Tahoe. Not just a group, but a place to belong.

What started in Los Angeles with one woman’s determination not to be alone could soon take root in the Sierra.

To join Finding Female Friends Over 50, visit https://community.fff50.org. Need help with the platform? Contact McCarthy at belanatorrez@yahoo.com.